The Unsaid

Say the thing, or keep it in?

828 people have stood exactly here. 88 of them are still inside it — their capsules have not opened yet. The rest already know how it went.

60%would decide the same way again

8 mowhere the two paths cross

23 momedian time since deciding

The answer changes depending on when you ask

This is the finding that matters, and it is the reason a snapshot of opinion is misleading. Shortly after the decision, the people who kept it in are happier. Years later, the people who said it are — and by a wider margin.

Time since deciding	Said it	Kept it in
6 months	57% would do it again	62% would do it again
12 months	64% would do it again	51% would do it again
24 months	59% would do it again	40% would do it again
36 months	69% would do it again	50% would do it again
48 months	78% would do it again	50% would do it again

Regret about saying it fades. Regret about keeping it in accrues.

Where each path ended up

They chose	Would again	Mixed	Would not	Total
Said it	266	60	71	397
Kept it in	177	71	95	343

What they said once they knew

Written after the capsule opened — not while deciding.

“It went badly for eleven days and then better than it had ever been.”
Said it · 67 months on

“They died before I got around to it. That's the whole review.”
Kept it in · 66 months on

“They already knew. They were waiting for me to be able to say it.”
Said it · 66 months on

“I protected a relationship by hollowing it out.”
Kept it in · 66 months on

Common questions

What usually happens to people who said it?

In this archive, 73% of people who said it said they would do it again when asked around four years later. At six months it was 57%. Regret about saying it tends to fade as time passes.

Is it better to saying it or keeping it in?

Neither, universally — and the honest answer changes with time. Early on, kept it in looks better (62% against 57% at six months). Later it reverses (73% against 48% at four years). The two lines cross at about 8 months.

How is this measured?

Every capsule records a decision and a confidence level before the outcome is known, then the person is asked afterwards whether they would decide the same way again. The percentages are Gaussian-smoothed over 740 answered capsules. Where too few sit under the kernel, no figure is shown rather than a noisy one.

Is this advice?

No. It is a record of what happened to other people, which is a different and more useful thing. Nobody here knows your situation.

You are about to decide something

Write down the real reason and how sure you are, before you know how it goes. In 30, 90 or 365 days it opens and asks you one question — and you find out whether your judgement was worth anything.

Seal a capsule